


Intoxicated

by Sbpagel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity, M/M, POV First Person, Powerful Harry, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 15:41:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16997841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sbpagel/pseuds/Sbpagel
Summary: Loving Harry Potter is intoxicating. It is burning fire, it is freezing ice. It will consume you and you wont be able to quit him. Even if he quits you, there will never be anyone else. There is no point in even trying. He will love you with everything he has and ruin you for anyone else.





	Intoxicated

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone reading Soul Mates, a new chapter will be out shortly, but this kept me up all night. Enjoy xx

Loving Harry Potter is intoxicating. It’s glorious, it’s nauseating, it’s delirious and terrifying. One minute he will have you moaning in ecstasy while he tells you all the reasons that you are special and the next you are ready to throw your self off the tallest of towers. He has defeated dark lords and over come all odds, his fans and friends adore him. His lovers just want it to be over. He’s too much.

His passion will consume you. He will whisper sweet nothings and make you feel more powerful than anyone who ever lived. He will make love to you slow and with care. He will push you against a wall and bite to draw blood because he simply cannot wait any longer to be with you. He will love you fiercely. Worst of all, he means every word he says to you.

He may tell you he loves you and then say you are ruining his life and he hates you for it. He means it. He may tell you that you are the best he ever had, and he can’t imagine ever being with anyone else. He means it. He will tell you that he loves you too much to stand by and watch your life be torn to threads, so he’ll leave you and says he will never come back. He means it.

You will scream that he has no right to make that decision. He wont listen. You will plead to not let it end. He will turn his head. You promise to do what ever it takes. He opes the door. You promise that it will only ever be him, that no one else will ever love him more than you. He will close the door, after a whispered ‘I love you’.

I could have moved on. I would have hurt for a few months or years, but I’ve been through pain before, I would have got through this. I could have done something great, got married and had kids, I could have been happy. Instead every night, I lay awake and hear him whisper ‘I love you’. Why did you have to say it Harry? Why did you have to leave it like that? Why couldn’t you have thrown me away, so I could have gone right back to hating you? Instead I have to walk through life and watch you build your own life, I watch you be happy while I am dying inside.

Sometimes you come back to me, when things with her get to much. When you fight, or the nightmares come back. You stay for a few hours or sometimes overnight. I hold you and tell you that you are strong and that the world needs you. You kiss me gently, make love to me again and make me feel like this thing between us could work. It never does though, you always leave, you always go back to her.

I should hate you. I should lock the door and close the floo. I should move. I should quit my job. I should do whatever it takes to make it so that you cannot ever find me. I can’t though. If I do even one of those I may make it too hard for you. You may try to come for me and realise I’m not there, so you’ll find someone else. That’s my biggest fear, someone else will chase away your demons. Someone else will hold you when you cry. Has she ever seen you cry? Has she ever listened to your heart break over and over thinking about those you’ve lost? Has she heard the truth about your walk into the forest? I never ask these questions though. What if she has? What if you have told her just as much as you’ve told me? What if I’m really not as special as you say? What if it’s all a lie?

I remember the day that it started. The day my life changed, for the better or worse I’m still deciding. It was 10 years ago, almost to the day. I was lying in the hospital wing. My chest is burning, I can still feel the curse ripping through me. Did I ever tell you what it felt like? Did I ever tell you that it felt like fire ripping through me? The pain had been dulled though. Pomphrey had given me some potions and Snape had cast some spells. The pain lessened but I could still feel it. Pomphrey said something about phantoms and that the feeling may never go away. I didn’t understand but I breathed through it and pushed it outside of my mind.

I was glad that you did it. I didn’t want to die but I had become so torn between what I wanted and what my family needed. You’re curse gave me something to focus on, it gave me clarity. When you walked into the ward, I didn’t try to fight, I was happy to see you. Because of what you did to me, I was able to see the mess that my life truly was.

That was the first time you ever cried in front of me, I think that was when I started to fall for you. You were so open and honest, in a way I always wanted you to be. You apologised over and over. You never meant to hurt me, you didn’t know what the spell did. You wanted to swap places with me. I called you and idiot and took your hand. That day you almost killed me and saved my life at the same time. That day you wouldn’t let me say no. That day you had me taken to headquarters. That day you made the decision for me. I was going to fight on the right side for once. Thank you Harry.

You started sending me letters. Granger sent me school work and Weasley sent me sweets. But you went the letters. The letters helped me survive. I understood how Sirius couldn’t have survived that house. It gets into your bones and makes you feel helpless, cowardly. I lived for the days that you would write, few and far between they were. You were so erratic. I would get one every day and then I wouldn’t hear from you for a week. Later you told me that you were confused but at the time I thought you were trying to play some silly game.

The school year ended but Dumbledore didn’t survive Snape killed him. You got me out of the house. I was the first person you thought of. Our headmasters body wasn’t even cold yet and you came to me. The professors tried to stop you, but you wouldn’t listen. You came into Grimmauld Place, soaking wet looking wild. You told me to pack everything I could, that we needed to leave. You took me to a muggle town with no name, checked me into the local inn and made me promise you that I wouldn’t leave. Every day you sent word to me. You never said much but every note ended with ‘I’m coming’. I held onto that promise with everything I had.

When you finally did arrive, you didn’t bother knocking, you just opened my door and stood there. I didn’t think about whether you would mind or any consequences, I ran straight into your arms and kissed you. We hadn’t ever spoken about our feelings or if we were even friends. We didn’t need to, we could always understand each other better than anyone else.

You pushed me up against the wall and kicked the door shut. You tore my shirt and ran your nails down my ribs. I succumbed to your touch without a fight. How can one person hold so much power Harry? How are you even walking around now? You started biting my neck and sucking my ear. You kept whispering ‘you’re here’ and ‘you’re safe’. I ran my hands through your hair and you gripped my hips tight, grinding against me. When you gasped my name, I knew I wouldn’t last long. What did I ever do to deserve the great Harry Potter losing himself against me? You kept moving your hips against mine and the friction was too much. I couldn’t string a though, all I could do was feel.

Your hands gripped my hips tighter, you bit hard on my neck and you growled out my name as you thrust your cock against mine. I don’t know whether it was just on of these or a combination of it all, but that was when my orgasm came. There was no warning of it, I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried. I came with a cry of your name, you didn’t last much longer. When your body stopped shaking you finally pulled me to the bed. We lay there curled in a mess of limbs. We didn’t talk, we just took comfort in each other’s breathing. It wasn’t just mere attraction any more. That was the night I fell in love with Harry James Potter.

The next day you took me to a safe house. You made me promise to not be an idiot, to do what I was told and not try to find you. I made some silly quip about you being the idiotic Gryffindor not me, you smiled and kissed me. That kiss still haunts my dreams. You didn’t know when we’d see each other again. You didn’t know if either of us would live or die. You were saying goodbye. You gave me a gift that day, you introduced me to my aunt and cousin. You gave me a family again. I didn’t know if I would ever see my parents again, so you gave me the next best thing. I will forever be grateful for that.

That year was slow, agonising torture. None of us knew if you were alive or not. We kept each other strong and I helped Tonks as much as I could as her belly grew. We heard the rumours that you were taken by the snatchers, I had a panic attack that night, Remus gave me chocolate and told me to breathe. The night baby Teddy was born Remus left late in the night to tell the order. When he came back he told me that he had seen you. You were alive, my aunt almost killed you and all you seemed to care about was whether I was ok. How do you find that kind of strength Harry?

When we heard about the Gringotts break in we knew something was about to happen. We readied ourselves to leave at any moment and kept tuned into Potterwatch. When word finally came to us, Remus waited long enough to kiss Tonks and Teddy and we were gone. Straight to Hogsmeade and into the castle.

You weren’t in the Room of Hidden Things when I got there but everyone was talking about you. Talking about your grand arrival and whether you could really take back Hogwarts. Have you ever really seen the wonder you inspire? Have you ever seen the affect that you have on the people around you? Have you noticed that everyone is magnetised towards you?

I knew the second that you walked into the room. The silence was deafening. The air froze around me. I could feel the power rolling off of you. You were talking and then everyone was moving but I couldn’t understand what was happening. I was captivated. What I saw when I looked at you, cracked something deep inside me. When was the last time that you had eaten? Your clothes were torn. You needed a haircut. You looked half dead. What was the last year like for you? You hadn’t seen me yet.

As everyone was scrambling out you kept asking for Weasley and Granger, that you needed to find them. I still hadn’t moved when the door closed on the last person to leave the room. Slowly you turned around and the look of concern disappeared when you saw me. The love and relief in your eyes was tangible. You dropped your wand and said ‘Draco’. That broke the spell over me. It was just like that first night together. I kissed you and you pulled me close, you told me over and over how much you missed me and how happy you were that I was alive. I said the same.

I don’t know how long we held each other for. It could have been a minute, it could have been an hour, it could have been a day. However long it was, it wasn’t long enough. You pushed me away saying that I couldn’t be there.  It was too dangerous. I needed to be safe and alive with Andy and Teddy. I yelled at you then. I didn’t want to be safe and out of the way and that you had no right to demand that from me. This wasn’t just your fight and it hadn’t been for a long time. You admitted your defeat and picked up your wand. You kissed me once more and said ‘You have to promise me you wont die. If you do, I’ll kill you myself’.

I chuckle and agree. It wasn’t until much later when I realised that you didn’t make the same promise. Time moved in a strange way during the battle. At one moment I was fighting Dolohov in the entrance hall, the next I was watching the spiders by the lake and then I was chasing Crabbe and Goyle through the corridors. Crabbe wanted to watch you burn. I couldn’t let that happen. Back in the room I was begging them to stop, to not cast the curse. Crabbe casts it but I don’t notice, I’m locked in a duel with Goyle.

The flames grow hot, hotter than hot. I can feel them licking at my skin and Goyle is scared. I look around and see Crabbe’s body burnt, I think I see his skull. I’m sorry Harry, I don’t think I can keep my promise. I look around, there’s no escape, the flames are circling us. Then you’re above me. You idiotic Gryffindor, you flew into a burning room, of course you did. You pull me up behind you and we’re flying above the flames. Just holding your waist is enough to calm me down.

We fly back into the hall and Weasley is following, Goyle behind him. I try to curse Goyle when we land but he’s running to fast and too far. Harry holds me back. ‘You promised me.’ Harry growls behind me. I don’t answer him. ‘I wont always be there, I can’t always be here to save you.’ Yes you will, I say to myself, you’ll always be there. At the time I truly believe that.

The fighting is still going so we are running again. I’ve never seen so much death and destruction, there’s so much blood. I saw Remus and Tonks killed, baby Teddy is orphaned, yet another victim in this war and he won’t understand for years. A cease fire is called, I helped Longbottom with the bodies. He searches the grounds and I’m walking through the halls. I see you on the forth floor. You look broken, where are you coming from? Where are you going?

I call out your name. When you see me you come straight for me and drag me into the nearest classroom. You kiss me and tell me that you love me. You tell me to not be an idiot and to save myself. You tell me to keep fighting for what’s right. You tell me that you believe in me.

I beg you not to leave, not to do this, but you’re already out the door. I run after you but you’re no where to be seen. That’s a marvellous cloak Harry. I was an empty shell when I walked back down stairs. I walked to nowhere in particular. Granger finds me staring at a bush, I’m watching a bowtruckle climb around. She asks where you are, I don’t answer I just look at her and I watched her heart break. She takes my hand and we walk inside. The bodies have been moved from the great hall. We don’t tell the others, Voldemort won’t let this murder be a secret.

When they walk out of the forest and call us out, I see you cradled in Hagrid’s arms, my knees give out. Granger is next to me, her arms around my shoulders. I think Weasley’s hand is there too, but I can barely feel it. I can’t take my eyes off your body. Longbottom is saying something, but I can’t hear it, all I do is look at you. That’s how I see it, it’s small but it’s there. I had seen a lot of death that day, bodies don’t move like that. You’re alive.

The fighting breaks out again and you’ve disappeared, that damned cloak again. I have no time to think. All I do is fight. I need to survive one last fight, I need to survive because I promised you I would, you idiotic Gryffindor.

The power radiating off of you as you talk to Voldemort is incredible. He yells at you but still you remain calm. How do you do this? You’re circling each other, it’s like some sort of demented dance. Your talking about wands and traitors but I can’t make the words have meaning. All I can focus on is that you’re alive and this is it. You’re beautiful like this. Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are? All power and brawn. If you ever felt the need, you could kill us all.

When the body falls, I watch you collapse, and I try and get to you, but I can’t. There’s too many people in the way. Everyone else surrounds you and I’m bustled to the back of the room. I try to catch your eye, but everyone is pulling at you, hugging you, thanking you. Don’t they realise that you would want to be alone right now? Still no one understands you like I do.

The table in the great hall are set up again and the house elves send up mounds of food. Finnegan, Thomas and Longbottom drag me to sit with them, to eat and celebrate. The food tastes like ash. I’m happy, ecstatic even, but it’s not right, you’re not with me. You’re across the hall sitting with the surviving Weasley’s. I notice the Lovegood girl talking to you, so I turn back to my food. By the time I look back again you’re gone. I look all around the hall and can’t see you. That bloody cloak.

Longbottom says something to me, I turn to face him, but I feel a hand on my shoulder. I quickly make my excuses and almost run out of the big doors. There you are standing at the top of the stairs, holding out your hand, I run up and take it. You don’t say a word as we climb more stairs and debris. You took me to Gryffindor Tower. We walk into what must have been your dorm, you take off your shoes and pull me onto the bed with you and you cry. There are quite literally hundreds of people below us who would gladly be here with you, but you’ve chosen me. Do you realise what that does to me?

You fell asleep, and I guess I must have as well. At some point your dorm mates walk in, see us and go find somewhere else to sleep. A house elf wearing a big, chunky locket comes up with a tray of food and makes me promise that we will both eat it and call for more. I lie back and not for the first time wonder what this year was for you.

When you finally open your eyes, you devour the food and go to the bathroom. It had been two full days since you ended to war. Your head pokes out of the bathroom door and you hold out your hand. I don’t need to be asked twice.

You start to take off your clothes. I’m not as big an idiot that you keep telling me I am, I know where this is going. I didn’t pay attention when you took off your shirt, so I didn’t see them until I was already naked. When I looked up, the first thing I notice is your erection, the second is the scars. I can feel my heart in my throat. You’re covered in them. You have a deep oval one on your chest and dozens of others in various shapes and sizes. I want to know all of their stories. I trace the deepest on and hear your sharp intake of breath.

You laced your fingers with mine and pulled our heads together. We are both watch my hand trace out each scar. Then you kissed me and it’s nothing like the other times. You were gentle and slow, we have time now, what a concept. Your free and is on my hip and mine is in your hair. I know which one of us it is but on of us turns on the shower. You wash me with gentler hands than I thought you capable of. Do you have to be good at everything? I take my time washing you. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but you came back damaged and I want to make it better.

I turned off the shower and you handed me a towel. I’m not nervous. A part of my brain tells me that I should be, I’ve never done this before. Last year I was hiding, in fear for my life, the year before that I was scared for my soul and before that it wasn’t even on my radar. I’m not scared because I’m with you. You already owned every part of me, it just made sense to give you this as well.

You’re kissing me again and pushing back through the door into the dorm. You lay me down on the bed and hover over me. Your mouth is everywhere, it’s on my neck, my collar bone, my arms, my nipples. You ask if I’ve ever done this before, when I shook my head you growled and took my cock into your mouth. It’s wonderful. All of the gentleness is gone, you wanted me to completely let go below you. I did, I gripped the sheets and your hair. You really are amazing at everything aren’t you?

When I come it’s sudden and I’m shaking. You crawl back up me and kiss everything you can reach. You push me over ont my stomach and you kissed my back. You kiss my neck and I was groaning again. Your hands are massaging me, comforting me down from my high and urging me to relax again. I do.

I heard you cast a spell, but I didn’t recognise it, I didn’t tense though, this is Harry Potter, he would never dream of hurting me. Your fingers are wet with something thick when you touch me again. I had heard about it before, it sounded so painful, but Harry would never hurt me. Not on purpose.

He slowly entered a finger into me. It burns, I whimpered. Your mouth was next to my ear, your telling me to relax, the more I relax the less it will hurt. So I force the pain away and relax into it. He kissed my shoulders and my neck as he moved his finger around. Then there was a second one. The burn isn’t as bad, and I can feel myself relax into it. He stays like that for a long time before the third one is added. Harry started moving his fingers and suddenly I’m gasping. Whatever Harry just did I need him to do it again and never stop, ever. I feel him smile against my ear and he whispered, ‘I found it’.

He continued to stroke me, and I was hard again. I tried to thrust up to pierce myself on his fingers, but Harry's free hand is holding me down. All I can do is moan and beg. He tells me I'm beautiful like this. Completely relaxed and at his mercy. He pulls out his fingers and I almost cry, I beg for it back again. He whispers that spell again and something much bigger than his fingers is there.

  
'If you don't want this you need to tell me now' Harry says, tongue lapping at my ear. 'tell me now because pretty soon I won’t be able to stop.’ 

‘Please’ I beg, I’m not ashamed by it. Harry slowly pushed in and the burn is back. I breath through it and force myself to calm down. Harry is slow pushing in and his breathing is coming in shallow puffs. I'm doing that to him, I'm making him come undone. When he's all the way in he lays on top of me and kisses my head and my neck and my shoulders. He's letting me get use to the feeling. I tell him to move, he lifts up my hips and pulls out almost completely before slowly pushing back in. The third time he does this, he finds that spot again. I cry out and the slow pace is torture, I need more, I beg for more harder faster deeper. He won't listen though, he's dragging this out. 

Slowly he thrusts, stroking my back. He's telling me he loves me. And I can feel my orgasm building this time. I'm so close. Finally Harrys movements become less deliberate. He's losing control. Sweat is covering both of us. He pushes deeper, harder and faster. I know I'm being loud, but I can't control it. I’m completely at his mercy. His leaves my back and pulls once in my cock and that’s enough. I'm coming again, harder and longer. My arms and legs collapse under me. Harry pushes in twice more before falling onto my back. As he slowly pulls out I feel his cum leak out of me. It's uncomfortable but I don't care. I love him more in that moment than ever before.

He curls up beside me again and we both drift off again. 

It was 5 days after Voldemort’s death that we finally agreed that we couldn't hide in the tower any longer. Life was being lived around them and they were missing it. We had to face everyone eventually. 

Harry was kept busy with press conferences and trials. He saved my parents with his statements. Something I will never be able to thank him enough for. I started to set up a life. I managed to get a flat around the corner from Diagon Alley and I started mending fences with my parents. It was hard but slowly they welcomed me home, I think it was mostly mother. But father can respect that I needed to save myself. He is a Slytherin through and through.

It was a month before Harry turned up. We had exchanged owls but the first time I saw him up close was when he turned up at my door, curry in one had a bottle of wine in another. We never did get around to eating that night.

For 5 years we were happy. The ones who mattered knew and the ones who would cause any issue were under the impression that we were just good mates. When we went out we ‘went muggle’, we never went to Wizarding establishments alone. Harry often spoke about us going public if I wanted to. But I knew that Harry wanted one part of his life that was his own, that the public couldn't hold an opinion on. We always postponed the date. Eventually it became a subject we never discussed.

Five years after the battle, almost to the day. A letter for you came. You never told me what it said but your mood fell hard. I hadn't seen you look that haunted since the war. I asked and all you said was that you'd tell me later. Is it later yet? 

We went out to that new Italian place and you let me eat the entire tiramisu without argument, that should have been my first clue. We went home and I put the kettle on. That's when you told me that you couldn't do it to me anymore. You couldn't keep me from having a future, my own family. That you had to let me go. My heart shattered. I tried to argue but you wouldn't listen. The stubborn determination that I was first attracted to was thrown back at me. 

When you left with a quiet I love you I collapsed on the floor. Why did you do that? Why did you leave me? Why did you have to say you loved me? I think that’s why I hate most of all.

I was a ghost of myself. I tried to talk to Andy and Hermione. I even turned up at the Burrow but no one could tell me why you did what you did. No-one could get you to talk. You kept it to yourself. 

I tried to sleep with someone else to spite you, but it wasn't the same. I felt dirty and used. He wasn't you. He was too tall, too thin, too normal. Once you taste Harry Potter nothing else will ever be good enough.

For months I walked through my life as a passenger. Everything was happening around me but I never felt a part of it. 6 months after the worst day of my life mother was admitted to St Mungos. She would get better, but it would be a long rehabilitation and she would never be the same again. I had spent the day with father who instead of grieving for his sick wife, was badgering me to get married and have a child. I got home exhausted all I wanted was a glass of wine and a bath. I was home half an hour when you knocked. I opened the door and you said 'I heard about your mum'.

You spent the night with me, holding me while I cried until I finally fell asleep. You were gone when I woke up, I would have thought it a dream but sitting on my nightstand was a note. It read 'your father loves you more than you can ever understand, he only wants the best for you and your mother is one of the strongest women I know. You got the best of both of them in you, remember that. I love you'

From then on whenever something good or bad happened in my life, you would turn up. Sometimes we would talk, sometimes we would have sex. Whatever we did it was exactly what I needed that night. I began to work hard at work hoping for a promotion, knowing you would turn up. Then you started coming because you needed me. When the nightmares returned, or when Teddy was injured. You came to me for support. The day the prophet announced you and Ginny were to be married you turned up that night. I don't know if you were comforting me or the other way around. 

Five years we went on like this. Every time you left, I thought of moving but I was never was strong enough to leave you.

I had a good day today. I got promoted to assistant department head at St Mungos. You'll be here later, you've never missed a mile stone. I walk into my flat elated and find Blaise sitting on my sofa.

  
"Just inviting yourself in these days?" I say as I kick off my shoes. "You need to leave, I'm expecting someone." 

"Draco, you need to sit down"

"Blaise?" I look at my oldest friend and he looks terrified. Nothing gets under his skin, even during the war he stayed stubbornly straight faced. Something was wrong. I sit. "What's happened?"

"I only just found out. If I knew at the time I would have told you. You have to believe that, I don't know how many other people know."

"Blaise, know what?"

"I know why Harry left"

Of all the things Blaise could have said, that was nowhere near what I would have expected. "How? Why?"

By the time Blaise finished his story I was furious. I was shaking. How dare he? How dare Harry do that to me? How dare he decide that without a talking to me? To anyone?

"Draco."

I didn't stay to hear what else Blaise would say, I turned, and I left. I walked out the door and apparated away. I had never been to Harry and Ginny's house before, that wouldn’t have been proper. If I was in a different mindset I may have stopped to admire the flowers. Right now their beauty was making me sick. I didn't bother knocking, I just threw the door open. Harry was sitting on a couch talking to Hermione he looked defeated.

Harry's eyes went wide when they saw me. "Draco? What are you doing here?”

I drew my wand, harry got up and backed up against the wall. 

"How dare you? You had no right!" I yell. "Where are they?"

Harry's eyes were on the wand at his chest. "Where's what?"

"Don't fucking lie to me Harry not now." I vaguely heard people calling my name, but my only focus was on Harry. “Not after all this time! Tell me where they are!”

"Draco calm down we can talk about this. Tell me what’s you happened." He’s talking to me like one of the wizards he arrests.

"Harry, he knows." that was Blaise. He must have followed me here. "He knows Harry."

Harry's eyes closed and lets out the air he was holding, he points to the closed door next to us. "My desk, top drawer it has a false bottom, just tap it with your wand. It's all there"

I slam the door open and do what Harry said. The drawer is full of photos and letters. There's photos of us and even more of just me. Photos I thought I'd lost over time and one I think I would have been asleep when he took. He kept everything. Below the photos is where I find them. Five letters, the first one and one sent every year to solidify his point. 

I take the parchment into the living room. Ron, Blaise and Hermione are still there, not trusting me not to hurt Harry. I can’t say I blame them.

"You had no right to take that choice away from me.” I throw the letters on the ground

"I couldn't let him kill you Draco."

"He wouldn't have killed me!” I scream at him.

"Have you read them?" Harry's yelling now as well. “He described it in vivid detail! He would have rather you alone and miserable or dead than with me!"

"You're an Auror!"

"Do you honestly think me arresting him would have stopped him? You're giving him too much credit as usual! He has people everywhere! All he cares about is the fucking Malfoy name! He won't stand there and let his son, as he so eloquently put it, 'Bugger a Blood Traitor'!"

"You still took my right to fight away from me Harry! You always fucking do this! You should have a bloody public announcement on your chest! Don’t let me care for you! I’ll take away your free will!”

"I was trying to protect you!"

"I didn't ask you to!"

"Draco!" 

"No fuck you Harry!” I turn and punch the wall. “You know what, there’s no point arguing anyway. Don’t you have a fucking wedding to plan"

I storm out and hear the door crash behind me. I get back to my flat and lose control. I hex ever thing in sight. Books explode, I punch the walls and I scream. Once again my father has ruined my life and I'm not even given a chance to argue. I’m sixteen again.

"Draco?"

I hear the voice behind me, its Hermione. 

"No offence Granger but I'm really not in the mood."

"I know, but there's more you need to know.” Her voice is quiet, resigned. “We didn't know until today, please walk with me?"

"How much more could there possibly be? My father wants me dead and the man I love knew all about it. To make it worse, the man I love is marrying someone else."

"walk with me Draco." She takes my hand to pull me up. We apparate to a deserted park. She doesn't let go of me as we walk. 

"After Harry broke up with you he closed himself to everyone.” Hermione began after a moment’s hesitation. “He went to work and came home. He wouldn't answer any owls and closed down his Floo. 6 months later your mum got sick, remember that? After she was sent home he seemed to change, he started venturing out. That's when him and Ginny started growing close. We thought she was just being a good friend and getting together romantically was just a natural progression.

"It was more than that though, well different. Harry got ridiculously drunk one night and Ginny was helping him, I know now that was the night you got accidently poisoned at work and spent a week in quarantine. He told her everything about you and about your father. It was her idea and he just went along with it. She never had plans to get married and he was lonely, it seemed like the perfect match. Their relationship was never physical, it was just companionship. She didn't plan it, but she fell in love with someone else. She ended the façade with Harry today after that man proposed."

"Blaise" Of course it was Blaise, how else would he have known?

Hermione nodded "They've been seeing each other for a while now, he thought Harry was going to kill him at first. She told him everything today and he went straight to you. Harry loves you Draco. He may have been stupid and acted rashly but he did it for you."

"He doesn't love Ginny?"

"Draco it's only ever been you."

"Where is he?"

"Where do you think?"

"I've got to go."

Hermione hugs me and whispers. "He needs you to save him now."

"Idiotic Gryffindors." I mumble into her shoulder. I disapparated. 

There's only one place Harry goes when he can't handle life anymore. I appear in front of the broken-down house, the first place he called home. Harry always spoke of rebuilding it but it was never the right time. I open the gate etched with prayers and well wishes and walk around the back, there he is, sitting on a rock. I know he's talking to his parents. 

I walk up behind him. "You're an idiot." I don’t yell, I just state the simple obvious face of life.

"Draco?" he turns quickly and there's tear marks down his face and his eyes are red. 

"Don't talk it's my turn. I get to make the decisions now and you don't get to say yes or no." Harry just nods. "My father is dangerous and connected. You're more so. You've always stopped yourself from using your name to carry favour. That ends tonight. My father is powerful, but he isn't stupid. You will write a statement tonight and send it to the prophet. You will tell the truth. You will tell everyone that you never loved Ginny, that she is the very best friend you could ever have but not the person you love. You will tell them that she is to marry Blaise. You will say that you support them. You will tell everyone that you have only ever loved me and we will go public. You won't mention my father. He will read it and he will know that if he ever tried to move against me suspicion will fall on him. He'll know this because you will tell everyone I changed sides well before the war ended. You will tell the whole story. You'll send that off and tomorrow morning you and I will walk through Diagon Alley hand in hand. You will smile for the camera and kiss me. You won't ever take my choices away from me again. Is that all clear or do I need to write it down?"

  
"Draco you,"

"No Harry you don't get to argue. You don't get to be stubborn. You will get up take us back to your place, mines a bit out of use at the moment, you will write this statement and then you and I will go to bed. Tomorrow you will make me breakfast and then we go to Diagon Alley. Is that clear?"

"Yeah." Harry's smiling at me now. "Can I ask one question?"

"Yes as long as you are on the same page as me.”

"can I kiss you now?"

"You bloody well better." I smile at him.

We are standing under the stars and we are together again. Some will call this unhealthy, not normal. To them I ask, since when has Harry Potter ever been normal?

 

**Fin**


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